A little nervous about my future

I was just up listening to some music and I was thinking about my "career". I'm a little nervous about my future. I mean, I am currently not going to school, I work part-time as a PC tech.. the pay is good but I don't get that much work, so my paycheck isn't huge at the end of the week...all I really have is my music. It gets me angry seeing people on like American Idol or some other reality show trying to be pop superstars through a show. I think that's the easy way out...to sing music that is already written to judges..that's cake. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I went that route. Even though I know I am taking the harder route by writing my own stuff and just praying to whatever god that is up there that people will like it... because this literally is it for me... I have nothing else but this hope that my music becomes something... I know my family thinks that I am a dissapointment and I feel like I am a burden sometimes because I am not as successful as my brothers are... but I just can't do well in school... as hard as I try, I can't do it...

I'm even more nervous now because I need to come up with money that I literally don't have... I am going to come up with the money to pay for 1 song to be produced, but then I have to pray that my producer can show that song to the right person who will want to help finance the rest of my project... when I talked to him this past week, he told me that his partners don't want to finance another reggaeton artist because... and I quote... "Nah man... Daddy Yankee got dat shit locked down." That is what is driving me right now.. to prove to those people who think that reggaeton should be one way wrong. I am going to open their eyes back to what music should be. It should be a catchy melody, story, and also someone who can tell it well. I am not going to make mindless music like other reggaeton artists out there. I am really going to surprise you all with my writing and my arrangement. Hopefully the rest of the world will see my talent and help me become something. Then we'll see what my family thinks of me...

Thanks for reading...

-B

Eminem - When I'm Gone

I know this song is probably somewhat old to everyone, but I listened to this song very carefully today and I realized how truly deep it is. I can really relate to Em in a way because him and I want to tell stories with our music (and sometimes we know those stories are pretty scary.. i.e. Kim) and he truly paints a great picture in this song on the reason why he is leaving music (as a performer anyways, I'm sure he'll still produce). I feel that this is a great final song for Em, it feels like it's his most honest.

I just hope that I can be as blessed as him as a musician. I respect him so much for all he has written and all he has done and I personally will miss his music. He is the supreme definition of what a wordsworth is.

3 out of 4 ain't bad! (update on music)

Hey everyone, just wanted to give an update on my music. Well, I talked to my BMG rep and I sang 3 new songs that I wrote for him over the phone. He liked 2 songs and put a question mark on one of them. He really likes my style of writing and he believes that my uniqueness is what is going to sell me. We are having a bit of difficulty finding someone who will finance the project. He told me that he showed my music page to a co-partner of his and the guy wasn't feeling my music. He tried to tell him that the stuff I am writing now is hot and to trust him, but he doesn't want to put money into my project without hearing anything. I am not able to pay for the studio time and he cannot finance it because he just worked with 2 other artists and he just does not have the money. It is rather expensive since I have to get about 5 songs done to have a single album. He told me alot of information about the music business and I didn't expect there to be so much work. He told me the hardest part right now is getting the music done, and he believes that I can handle that with no problem. So right now I have 3 songs that he really likes and 1 iffy, he also recommended that I write a song that is up-tempo, so I'll give that a try since I'm so used to a more mellow vibe. I have a surprise for all of you though, I plan on poking fun at the reggaeton that is currently out there (nothing malicious, just something to show my humor) like I plan on tackling how the majority of the songs out there are garbage because the writing is really bad, or that some songs invent words just so they could sound hot (Rackata? Gasolina = semen?) So yea, I'd love to know what you all think about that concept and just any well wishes or "You can do it Beebs!" would be much appreciated. BTW: I want to give a big thank you to Jenny wenny for helping me get in contact with this guy. So hopefully she can help finance my record too

-B

BB doing.... reggaton?!?!

Haha.. yea, I am writing reggaton songs. I spoke to someone who works at BMG records and he told me that my songs are good but if I make raggaton songs it would be a guaranteed hit since that is a hot genre right now. So I wrote one and the rep liked it...alot. He told me if I write 5 more songs he will try to get me studio time and possibly get me a single deal.

So for all you club goers, look out for BB to do some hot reggaton!

-B

How my 1st performance went

Sorry it took a couple of days to update you all on how the 1st performance went, but here it is!

First off, the place is very nice, I'd have to say there were about 20 or so people there. It's a small place and it has a nice feel to it. I was performing along with 5 other artists. When I was introduced, the MC didn't know if I was a guy or a girl. He said "And next, coming up to the stage, he or she resides from West New York.." and I yell out "HEEEE!" so he says "Oh, he, he resides in West New York, give it up for BB".

I go up to a couple of claps and I'm told to talk to the audience. I've never done that before so I said whatever came to mind "Hey...um...my name is BB...I'm a guy last time I checked..." then some guy from the bar yells "Put some bass in your voice!" and I say "Put some bass in my voice? Dude, I'm a singer, I don't need bass in my voice" Then the DJ asks if I'm done to put the CD on and I said yea.

After my performance I think everyone clapped for me (I wasn't sure, I wanted to get off stage cause I had a hot plate of nachos waiting for me at my table) and a woman by my table asked me who helped me with the backup music. I proceded to tap on my head and I told her it was all from there. She was very surprised and said that I have a gift and that it sounded very very good.

I then sat back and enjoyed the rest of the evening. The DJ came to me later on in the night and told me that the song was very good, but I just needed to work on my stage presence. I told him that it was the first time I performed in about 8 years and he said Daaaamn, that's a long as time.

Then, towards the end of the night, I was on my way out and the man who was in charge of the show said "You leaving BB? You want to come back next week and perform again?" I said "Hell yea I do". Then the next day I wrote to him thanking him for the opportunity to perform and I received this email response:

We would like to thank you for performing and attending our Wednesday showcase. We and all of our patrons enjoyed your performance and would love to have you and your guest back for Wednesday January 18th.

Sooo... BB is going back to 88 Keys next week. Hope ya'll can make it.

-B

BB's 1st Performance in 8 Years

Hey everyone, I just wanted to update you all on an upcoming show. The address, date and time are on my music page. Just to give you a rundown, it's a show for unsigned artists to perform and hopefully get picked by the 105.1 radio personnel. If I get chosen, I could get paid gigs at venues run by 105.1 in the NY and NJ area. Also, a track of mine will be played on the radio for the tri-state area to hear.

So go to my music page and find out where/when it is. If you can show up, please let me know so I can look for you, I'd appreciate any support.

Thanks and wish me luck!

-B

Death is the only certainty

This morning I went to a funeral and it changed my perspective on things. This person wasn't someone that I frequently saw, instead it was a close friend of my grandparents. My grandmother and mother were crying quite a bit at the funeral. And that got me to thinking that death is the only certainty in life. I mean, no one really knows when it will come for us, that's why we need to live each day as if it was our last. This man died from cancer, but I don't know if he truly knew what he had because old cuban customs say that you shouldn't let the person who is going to die know that they are going to die. I don't believe in that at all because if I want to be able to say my goodbyes to everyone that has effected my life in a way, and to also make one last effort to show the ones I love how much I appreciated their help in my life. I have rubbed elbows with death in the past, but thank god that I am one tough son of a bitch and I can take anything... so far. I am trying my best to stay healthy because I don't want anyone worrying about me dying. I know my brothers for one will really miss me since the 3 of us are connected no matter where we are or what we are doing. It's like we have our own seperate family from our immediate. We are kind of like and immediate immediate family.

I just wanted to share my enlightening experience rather than keep it inside. If anyone reads this, I would really appreciate a comment on what you think about death and also how you want to be remembered. And also, if I effected your life in any way, I would appreciate if you shared that with me also. I don't get serious often, so this is quite rare.

R.I.P Alfredo.

-B

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

Hey everyone, I noticed that i has been a while since I wrote another blog on my page, so I thought I would write briefly about my experience with the new book that I got for Christmas from my brother. It's called "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West" and I am loving it. I have never been a big fan of reading cause, quite frankly, who needs to read when there are so many more interesting things on TV. But man oh man, this book might get me started into reading books as a regular hobby. The idea of the book, just like the play, is an alternate look at the world of Oz. The main focus on the book is Elphaba (the Wicked Witch of the West). It tells you how she was born, how she was raised, and right now I am up to where she goes to Shiz University (the school most gifted kids go to to learn).

I also received the sequel to this book, Son of a Witch, which I'm guessing follows Elphaba's son. Should be an interesting couple of months reading these two books. I would recommend all my friends see the Wicked play I mentioned in my earlier blog and then pick up the book, it really is a great experience.

-B